#42 Grief in Afghanistan: Testimony from a U.S. Navy Special Ops Teammate - Jim Payne — Compelled Podcast

In 2005, Jim Payne deployed to the Middle East as part of a Navy SEAL platoon, alongside 15 of his closest friends and brothers-in-arms. Partway during their deployment, his team suffered devastating losses in the mountains of Afghanistan in an incident detailed in the best-selling book and hit movie “Lone Survivor”. As Jim grappled with crippling grief, he clung to the One who offered any glimmer of hope.

The following is a summary of the podcast interview above with Jim Payne. Many more details are included in the original podcast episode and we encourage you to listen.

Written by Jace Bower

“I Thought I Was Going to Die”

The year was 1985. Twenty-one-year-old Jim Payne was aboard a US Navy auxiliary ship in the Southern Pacific. What had started out as a normal day was quickly becoming a defining moment in Jim’s life.

The Soviets had recently warned other nations to stay clear of the area while they tested missiles in the ocean. The U.S. government had tasked the Navy with monitoring the Soviets and getting any information they could about the missiles: picking up debris, taking water samples, and taking pictures and video of the Soviets.

The ship Jim was on made it to the impact zone before the Soviets did. The crew diligently set to work taking water samples. But this routine work was suddenly interrupted by Soviet attack helicopters buzzing the ship, flying fast and low over the ship multiple times.

The crew was called to general quarters and they manned their battle stations. Jim was a 50-caliber machine gunner at the time. He had trained in exercises before, but this was different. The crew of the auxiliary ship was preparing for real combat, and they knew their tiny vessel was woefully equipped to defend itself from the Soviet war machines. The danger was real, and Jim believed he might be living his final moments.

Thankfully, the moment deescalated, and the vessels separated without any shots fired. Another day in the Cold War. But the fear of that moment stuck with Jim and he was tempted to rethink his commitment to the Navy.

One Night in Waikiki

Jim wasn’t seeking God’s direction for his life, but God was still directing him. And although thoughts of God were the furthest thing from Jim’s mind, God was at work, planting seeds in Jim’s life.

One particular seed was planted in Waikiki, Hawaii. Jim and a Navy friend were spending the night in a hotel when they heard music coming from outside. They went down to investigate. It was a worship night organized by YWAM (Youth With a Mission), a Christian parachurch organization. Two young women came and sat down next to the two sailors and shared the Gospel with them.

To impress the girls, Jim made a commitment to Christ. That night would play a significant role in his decision to re-enlist in the Navy.

Jim never saw the girls again and the night’s events eventually slipped from his memory. His commitment to Christ was soon forgotten.

A Messy Divorce and Flaming Tattoos

Jim’s Navy career continued with stations in Australia and California. He met a fellow sailor and married her, but their marriage soon began to fall apart.

Even in the midst of this struggle, God was working, planting more seeds. There was a certain man that Jim would often see when he went to the gym on base. He had rippling muscles and flame tattoos all across his arms. After a few weeks, Jim realized he was the Navy chaplain. The chaplain invited Jim to attend the church on base. While at first, Jim declined to go to church, he eventually agreed to meet with the chaplain one-on-one in the chaplain’s office.

Jim and his wife got a divorce and Jim’s life became a mess. He struggled financially and had to deal with the divorce on the small Navy base where both of them still worked and where gossip quickly spread and things devolved into a soap opera.

So, Jim started counseling with the chaplain, a former marine. This became another turning point for Jim and he gave his life to Christ during a base chapel service in 1988 and fully committed to being a follower of Jesus.

An Opportunity of a Lifetime

Jim began attending the church on base and even started serving in ministry at the chapel. But his old problems with his ex-wife and the drama among their co-workers remained. Eventually, Jim decided it was time to leave the base.

He transferred out of California and began to train as a Navy Diver.

Jim remarried in 1993, had three kids, and continued to grow in his faith, along with his family. He also rose through the ranks and achieved the status of Chief Petty Officer.

Then, in 2003, while stationed in Hawaii, an unexpected opportunity presented itself. Jim was approached by a fellow officer named Dan Healy, who asked him to join a new platoon that was forming. But this wasn’t any normal platoon. It was a Navy SEAL platoon from SEAL Delivery Vehicle Team One (SDV-1).

This was the opportunity of a lifetime for Jim and after prayer and consultation with his wife, he accepted.

Tragedy During Training

When Jim joined the SEAL platoon as a Navy Diver and corpsman (medic) he began intense training. Tragedy struck during one particular training experience.

It was a land warfare training exercise. One half of the platoon was practicing shooting while the other half rested. Suddenly, the firing stopped, and Jim heard someone shout for a medic. Jim and another corpsman named Marcus Luttrell jumped in their truck and raced over.

In Jim’s mind, this was just another realistic drill. But it was soon evident a terrible accident had occurred and a SEAL was seriously injured. There was a gaping wound across the man’s shoulder and torso and blood was streaming out. Jim and Marcus jumped into life-saving action, compressing the wound, loading the injured soldier into the truck, and then transferred him into a helicopter where he was taken to a trauma center.

The SEAL survived and narrowly missed having his arm amputated. Without Jim and Marcus’ quick actions, the SEAL would have certainly died. Years later, the soldier attended Jim’s retirement ceremony. With him, he brought a hand-drawn picture with a note from one of his sons, thanking Jim for saving his dad’s life.

Deployment

It was through moments like these, through sweat, tears, and literal blood, that Jim and the other men on his team bonded like brothers.

All of their hard work culminated when they finally deployed to the Middle East in April 2005. They knew they were heading into a hotbed of danger, but they couldn’t predict how this deployment would mark their lives.

Upon their arrival in the Middle East, the platoon split up. One half went to a combat zone in Afghanistan while the other half conducted operations in the Persian Gulf. The plan was that halfway through their tour, the two halves would switch places.

While Jim’s half deployed to the Persian Gulf, the other half of the platoon became involved in a tragic mission in the mountains of Afghanistan. This mission was titled Operation Redwing and is chronicled in the film and book Lone Survivor, written by Marcus Luttrell, Jim’s fellow corpsman. Marcus, the same medic that worked alongside Jim in the tragic training accident, was the only survivor of the mission.

Operation Redwing

The mission was simple. A small team of four SEALs was airlifted into the mountains of the Hindu Kush and tasked with confirming the location of a top Taliban leader in a certain Afghan village.

During the mission, the SEALs came upon some local Afghans herding goats. The SEALs decided to let the goat herders go without killing them. The local Afghans then alerted the Taliban to the presence of the SEAL team and a vicious firefight ensued.

The SEALs called for backup but before reinforcements could arrive, they lost the high ground and three of the team were killed, two of whom were from Jim’s SEAL platoon. When the distress call finally reached the main base, two Chinook helicopters were deployed, without support from attack helicopters.

The Taliban shot one of the helicopters down. Tragically, all 16 men on the Chinook died. Eight from the U.S. Army special forces, and eight more Navy SEALS. Among the crew of that Chinook were three SEALs from Jim’s platoon. It was one of the deadliest days in Navy SEAL history.

Seeds Sown and Watered

Within days of the tragedy, Jim and the remaining platoon members were transferred to Afghanistan. Their platoon chief Dan had been killed in the Chinook and Jim was the next senior enlisted of the platoon. He was tasked with identifying his fallen comrades, sorting through their personal belongings and military equipment, and comforting the mourning men who had lost their brothers-in-arms.

That day changed Jim’s life. The grief was powerful, but Jim wrestled through it in prayer. He prayed, asking God for strength in this terribly difficult time. He prayed for peace for his own heart, and the hearts of his comrades.

Jim continued to heal and found closure by meeting with the families of his fallen comrades. Sixteen years have now passed, and the memory is still fresh, but Jim always leans on the Lord when specific moments trigger him.

Jim’s life had been characterized by seeds that God had planted: the terrifying moment in the South Pacific with Soviet helicopters overhead, the YWAM girls who planted the Gospel seed in Jim’s heart on Waikiki, the Navy Chaplain, and more.

But God’s seed-planting didn’t stop there. God used Jim himself to plant seeds in the lives of his battle brothers in the aftermath of tragedy and He continues to plant seeds through Jim’s story even today.

—
Jace Bower is a writer with a passion for justice and biblical principles. He writes at jacebower.com.

Helpful Links

Detailed description of Operation Redwing
“Lone Survivor” on Amazon. This book was written by Jim’s team member, Marcus Luttrell, about his experience during Operation Redwing.
Jim recommends that soldiers suffering from PTSD check out the National Center for PTSD or call 1-800-273-8255

Photos from Jim

List of the Fallen from Operation Redwing

Navy SEALs

SEAL Delivery Vehicle Team 1, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii (Jim Payne’s platoon)

Lt. (SEAL) Michael P. Murphy, 29, of Patchogue, New York
Sonar Technician (Surface) 2nd Class (SEAL) Matthew G. Axelson, 29, of Cupertino, California
Machinist Mate 2nd Class (SEAL) Eric S. Patton, 22, of Boulder City, Nevada
Senior Chief Information Systems Technician (SEAL) Daniel R. Healy, 36, of Exeter, New Hampshire
Quartermaster 2nd Class (SEAL) James Suh, 28, of Deerfield Beach, Florida

SEAL Delivery Vehicle Team 2, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Gunner’s Mate 2nd Class (SEAL) Danny P. Dietz, 25, of Littleton, Colorado

SEAL Team 10, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Chief Fire Controlman (SEAL) Jacques J. Fontan, 36, of New Orleans, Louisiana
Lt. Cmdr. (SEAL) Erik S. Kristensen, 33, of San Diego, California
Electronics Technician 1st Class (SEAL) Jeffery A. Lucas, 33, of Corbett, Oregon
Lt. (SEAL) Michael M. McGreevy Jr., 30, of Portville, New York
Hospital Corpsman 1st Class (SEAL) Jeffrey S. Taylor, 30, of Midway, West Virginia