#116 I Dated a Black Woman. My Church Rebelled. - Ben Browning
Ben Browning had recently become the pastor of a small church in rural Mississippi. Things were going well... until he began dating a black woman and his quiet church rebelled.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz.
Ben looked away from his upcoming sermon notes and glanced down at his cell phone; the call was from his worship leader, Allen*.
“This is probably about Quaneisha playing on Sunday…”
His stomach tightened slightly with apprehension; Ben tried to shake it off, then picked up the phone.
“Hey Allen! How are you doin’, sir?”
Allen’s gentle, elderly voice crackled over the phone:
“I’m alright, son, doin’ alright…”
Then came a long pause. Ben waited, a cold feeling stealing into his stomach; he knew what was coming.
“Ben, listen…” Allen sighed. “Miss Rebekah* heard about me askin’ your girl, Quaneisha to play the piano for Sunday worship—”
“And?”
Ben did his best to resist any hint of impatience or irritation.
“And… she said I can’t let Quaneisha play.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Allen continued.
“She said if I do… people will leave the church.”
Ben felt something bending within him, dangerously close to breaking; the pain of the last few months was crushing him like a ton of bricks.
“Do you mean to tell me that my fiancée, who loves the Lord, and is about to become my wife in a month, can’t play piano at the church where I pastor… because she’s black?!”
Allen was silent for a moment, then released another long sigh.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Ben. I’m sorry. Miss Rebekah has a lot of power in this church, you know that. And well—you’ve seen what a lot of people think about folks like Quaneisha. It’s terrible, but it’s also the way they were raised.”
Ben stood up, still pressing the phone to his ear. He felt his blood beginning to boil, and struggled to maintain a calm tone.
“Allen, I know it’s hard for people to overcome the prejudices they grew up in, I get that… I love this church as much as anyone, probably more! But at every turn, people have been rude, demeaning, unkind—anything but Christ-like ever since Quaneisha started attending. And it’s only gotten worse since we got engaged.”
Allen remained silent on the other end.
Ben clenched his jaw. “It’s outright wrong, Allen.”
All the pain of the last few months filled Ben’s mind… the not-so-subtle jabs from church members… literal doors slamming in Quaneisha’s face… several church members referring to the KKK in hushed tones as “keepers of the peace”…several ladies whispering with Miss Rebekah in the church hallway… “it’s simply not right for one of her kind to marry our preacher”... Quaneisha’s kind face looking up at him from the front pew as he preached, even as others kept themselves apart.
Ben felt his anger begin to well up.
“Lord help me keep my cool.”
He gripped the phone tightly, despite his shaking hand.
“That’s it, Allen. I can’t put up with this anymore. It can’t go on this way… I have to do something.”
Listen to Ben’s unique testimony of
confrontation and forgiveness
*Names changed for privacy
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